The Crisis is Real : An Ode to Red Lipstick

We all remember when lipstick was a thing. When we happily and unconsciously applied it, never having a clue of what was to come. It was color, hydration, polish all in one. I have always held firmly to the belief that when all else fails wear a crisp white shirt, jeans and your best shade of red. Now we see inspirational posts suggesting earrings are the new lipstick... smile with your eyes... dramatic eyes are the new lipstick... hair is the new lipstick. Why? Because nothing can replace lipstick! None of this works for me. I need lipstick. Period. And yes, it wreaks havoc on our new accessory, so naturally we're not wearing lipstick. We're wearing chapstick because the cotton dries your lips out even more than a pro level hairdryer blast to the face. Chapstick is the new lipstick. Whatever. I'm trying to stay upbeat here about this situation, but god damnit I MISS RED LIPSTICK. I've actually gotten dressed in the morning, in my cleanest leggings and put red lipstick on! However embarrassing to admit. It was a tad bit weird. It just doesn't feel quite the same as getting dressed, looking together, cute, on top of things and wearing your salty red lips. That feels good. Ray suggested that I might make the UPS guy uncomfortable showing up at the door in sweat pants and big red lips. Like, what are you up to exactly? kind of uncomfortable... So I have begrudgingly put my many shades of red away to wait for happier less germy times, in hopes that this minor, actually not so minor, investment doesn't head south. This is my ode to red lipstick. May you rest in peace, stay moist and protected and have faith we will reunite again someday. We have to, because I look like a surprised clown in "dramatic eyes" and if I smile with my eyes, I look older than I am.

Leave a comment

All comments are moderated before being published